Vacuum Sales or Merchandising

A friendly used car salesman

A fantastically chipper good morning to all!

Last night I was at a steak night fundraiser.  It was a great time even though I ate chicken instead of steak (it was a choice I made).  The whole thing got me to thinking about hawking stuff to help yourself out.  This fundraiser was for the school orchestra that my sister plays in and that I played in for years so I didn’t have too many problems shelling out $15 for a delicious meal.  But how do you get past dealing with your family and sell stuff to the masses?

Almost as if my question was meant to be answered, a friend of mine came over to my table for a chat.  Turns out he took up a new job as a vacuum sales guy.  Of course I asked him just how he could go to strangers and convince them to buy vacuums…hold up I forgot a key ingredient here…

I was wondering how people sell stuff because I cannot bring myself to push ArmsUp t-shirts on people.  Every gig we go to we bring a big box of shirts to sell to people, but when it comes down to the actual selling we always shit the bed…

Back to the story of vacuum sellers, steak night and my conundrum.  My buddy tells me that it sucks selling stuff so he just had to swallow a bit of his pride and do it.  He suggested that we get someone famous to wear our shirt at gigs.  Someone who just wouldn’t mind pushing the shirt onto people.  The vacuum brochure has examples of celebrities that own the ol’ cleaning system so why won’t it work for us?

Anyone know any famous people that want to hang out at our shows in a pretty cool t-shirt?


p.s. If you don’t buy a vacuum you’re liable to die from spores, dust or worse



Filed under Music Discussions

2 responses to “Vacuum Sales or Merchandising

  1. I think a key element that’s missing from how you’re thinking about t-shirt sales (and vacuum sales, for that matter) is that crucial part that suggests people want and need this stuff – but might not know it or recognize it. The whole idea of pushing makes it sound seedy and shitty and like you’re tricking people – not giving your customers or audience much credit.

    Change the way you think about it – People are retards when it comes to finding that shirt that no one else has or that has a reference that few people get. People want to be asked about their shirt – and trust me when I say that I get asked about my arms up shirt(s) every single time I wear them. Think Threadless and all those other companies. These things should be selling themselves: for a measly 15 bucks (is that right?), local, obscure, and cool colours/design? There’s plenty out there that think this way – you aren’t ‘pushing,’ you’re providing something that people want. Just a matter of finding those people.

    And so, I don’t think you need an infomercial style a-hole to ‘push’ t-shirts on people, though seeing people out there, wearing them, talking about them is a good thing of course. They just need to be visible, available, and geared toward those that are looking for that obscure, legit, t-shirt. These things travel by word of mouth (I’d say, but what do I know) so, fuck, give some away if it means people will notice them and talk about them and wear them. Add a draw for one or two of your shirts at Vangelli’s perhaps.

    ps – Ill wear mine tonight and I’ll look cool and put together as usual, but I won’t ‘push’ them on anyone. Your welcome.

  2. You’re an intelligent man Jefferson! But I worry that if you put the shirt on people might be frightened of buying it…aw crap my record is skipping.

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